My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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