So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
