God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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