I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
