I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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