I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
