Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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