His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
