just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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