Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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