ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize