so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
