Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize