Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
