one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize