turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize