I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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