call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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