Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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