You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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