I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
