guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
