New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
