He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize