i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
