as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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