me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
