And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
