if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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