just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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