talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
