its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
