I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
