that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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