My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
