I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
