i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
