Porn is love you can see.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
