I must be too annoying 4 u.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
