If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
