he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize