My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
