absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
