We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
