So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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