You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
third nipple confirmed
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
