i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
