God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize