I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
