i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
babies were throwing up all over the place
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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