I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
