I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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