how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
