you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
