My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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