Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
