he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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