The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize