Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize