I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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