ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize