I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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