Three words: puerto rican gang bang
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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