My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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