batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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