I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
