Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
