I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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