What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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