margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
