A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
